SESSION REPORT: Let Sleeping Gods Lie 01
We began in a town, or a big city perhaps, a place big enough to have Wizard's Guild at least—I was faffing about with my character sheet and didn't write the name down. I was Carbuncle The Dwarf Warrior, Milks was Jack Spellz The Wizard, and Steadman was Thelonious The Warrior. The aforementioned Wizard's Guild had a missing nerd problem and we were teleported to the town of Garnish to solve it.
Approaching the palisade I had a singular goal in mind: obtain grub, as I'd skipped on rations in favor of BIG WHACKER and nice armor. Guardsman Berry tried to disallow our entry, but acquiesced when shown our Warrant For Fucking Shit Up from the Wizards. He gave us a low down on the sitch in town which was, get this, not good. People have been going missing (18?) and getting stabbed (7?)—and not stabbed a little bit either, stabbed a lot. That's what my notes say. They also say there's hippos in the river and that I shouldn't bathe there.
We beelined straight for the tavern, as one does, and were immediately confronted by Bream The Lame. He tried chirping at us about something trifling and I pushed past him violently, bowling him over onto his ass, so that I could raid the search the place for clues. I found a ham hock and flour (very useful), which I pocketed, and many rat droppings, which I imagined. Returning to Bream's Lame Ass I threatened to expose him for the many rats in his store room to cow him into shutting up, and my comrades of the more conversational bent actually acquired some useful information on a murdered person.
We followed the lead to the victim's (new one not the missing wizard) place of work, the Church of Saint Bozo the dino-saving caveman. We did some more asking around there and the pastor gave us precious few deets, or I forgot them, but I did get a cool headband that smelled of sweat. We pigged out on a charity meal and started asking about dungeons and stuff. This prompted the COPS to show up and took us in for a lil' chat. The piggy wiggies wanted us to stop scaring the townsfolk (into realizing their problem wasn't being adequately addressed I imagine) and also sent us on a quest to the dungeon we'd asked about.
We made it through the woods to the entrance uneventfully, and even got the drop on 2 out of 3 door guards. They were cultists (different cult then we thought they were though) and we baited them into an ambush by me mooning them and then running away into the woods whereafter Spellz and Thelonious jumped them and gave em what for. The third guardman ran inside before we could kill him, so we went around back and entered through a secret door. I forgot why we knew we could do this, but I assume it was the ingenuitity of my comrades in violence (I'm writing this a week after the fact XD). Outside the door was the corpse of a woman mauled by a bear, sad!
Inside the dungeon we continued to Fuck (shit) Up. We found a room with a greased up slide going up (can't be up to code), and some doors with a rainbow eye and tear each, which I think means they're one-way. We also got into a little scuffle with some cultists but we totally mashed em up hard style cause we're really really cool and strong.
A fella on a tractor affixed with spinning blades got the drop on us when we inadvertently dropped a portcullis behind us, but we escaped with only minor damage. We also discovered a love letter which detailed how the bear-mauled woman met her fate hiding in a potted plant (was the plant her lover?!) and that's about that. We bounced, snagged a cask of wine on the way out, and probably got wine-drunk in the woods. Yuzzah!
I much enjoyed my first Tunnels and Trolls game, ran by The Gourd Dwarf. My thoughts on T&T itself are also positive, though another matter for another time.